By Jen | 11:19 AM
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Whoa, Slow Your Roll There, Mister

Sullivan. My sweet baby Sullivan. He's only three and a half years old but is so wise beyond his years. Like teenager time.

Wait, what?? Recently he's been saying some things that have caused me to stop and give him a glare then question that maybe he's really a fifteen year old in a three year old body. Threenager at his finest.

Evidence:

"Ugh....mom you just don't understand me! You're not even listening!" He's said this randomly over the past week and I just have flashbacks of me saying that to my own mother.

A few weeks ago, Mac had to work late so it was just me and the little guy that night for dinner. When I picked him up from school and asked what he wanted for dinner this was his response: "Mom.....just drive. Seriously. Just drive."

And a new favorite of his that got squashed instantly: "Shut your mouth, mom, I don't even want to listen to you right now." Apparently he got this one from an older kid at school so he was not impressed when it got him sent to time out. Luckily that one hasn't come back to rear its ugly head yet.

But I'm waiting.

All this is a lead up to what I hear are called the "fuck-you fours". Oh goody.

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By Jen | 2:50 PM
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A Rant Against Those Who Created My Husband

First, let me just say, yes I have been gone awhile. You may not believe it but I have around twenty blog posts written that just need pictures and to be published. It's true.

So why the random break from my laziness as a blogger? It's to rant against my in laws.

I usually don't talk about them on here because I don't know if they read it. Turns out, I really don't care. So here we are.

For those of you who know me personally, you know I do not get along with my husband's parents. And for the past fourteen years, I really haven't for a million reasons. They don't talk to me, they talk around me. They introduce me to people as "the girl who gave us a grandson". I have to follow up with my real name to assure them that I am not just a walking uterus. They encouraged my husband to NOT propose to me, that I was only there for the money (WHAT MONEY??) then looked incredibly depressed the day of our wedding.  They also told me I was "gaining a lot of face weight" when I was pregnant because "women like to hear that". Clearly.

So when they visited last weekend, I was not excited. Usually I find something else to do instead of being ignored and it's fine but this time I stayed around. My father in law decided to drop some four letter words around Sullivan, which we objected to right away. Nothing too bad but a "hey hey hey let's try to not use those words around him, he'll repeat everything". Then he did it again so we (hubby and I) again said "hey! Don't say that around him!" An hour later they left after telling Sullivan that they would be at his first t-ball game the following Saturday. Then I broke out the wine because I survived without running my mouth. That's a success in my book.

Thursday night Mac got a phone call from his mother who told him that his father was "pissed that we yelled at him and didn't want anything to do with us right now". Ok, that was not yelling. You'd know if I yelled at you. I'm loud. She then informed Mac that they weren't going to come to Sullivan's t-ball games and weren't going to come visit anymore. Mac was pissed but mostly on Sullivan's behalf. Honestly I think he's tired of their shit. But, yes, they are going to completely ignore their only grandson because they think we yelled at them.

Do I care? Heck no! It does not bother me personally at all. But I am disappointed for Mac who shouldn't have to deal with his parents acting like surly passive-aggressive children. I'm sad for Sullivan who will miss them. But I'm also sad for them.  They're going to miss out on their only child and grandchild. And for what? A perceived thought that we "yelled" at them? Ridiculous.

The next few weeks should be interesting. Father's Day is this weekend and Mac hasn't decided if he'll get his dad a card. On top of that, my father in law has been known to boycott restaurants for years because he thought someone who worked there was "mean" to him.  I've been present for several of these incidents and can honestly say that I could not understand what the hell he was talking about. It's just how he is.

Ok....I'm done now. Back to work!

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By Jen | 3:21 PM
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Stitch Fix Review: April 2014

I have been seriously anxiously awaiting my Stitch Fix. It's been a looong while since my last one and with the warmer weather sort of showing up (and then disappearing again), I am ready for some new spring clothes. 

This is Fix number 5 for me and Natalie did an amazing job! She was my stylist last time as well and I think she's really starting to get to know my style better. I've been voraciously pinning clothes to my Pinterest page so she'd get an idea of what I like and what I don't like (read: anything trendy or aztec print). 

{For my last four Stitch Fix experiences, click here.}

You all know how this works right? Pay $20, fill out a detailed style profile, and await your mail. Try things on in your own house and then send back what you don't want in a prepaid envelope. The $20 goes towards whatever you buy. Shopping without a toddler? Yes please.



I was really lucky this time because all of these pieces go together and I love that! I'm not sure if that's how Natalie planned it but it sure works out nicely.

This first pic shows what I'm wearing today. The yellow sweater is mine but the necklace (Zad Toren Layered Beaded Necklace), shirt (Miilla Sandrine Tiered Sleeveless Blouse) and the jeans (Mavi Freida Skinny Jean) are all from this fix!! 



I love the necklace! The color is spot on and I love a good chunky necklace. The shirt was just eh for me at first. I love the look of it but it is completely see through in the back which makes it uncomfortable to wear alone. But as a layering piece, I love it. 

And now on to the jeans. I scoffed when I saw they were sending me jeans. Jeans are such a personal thing and it usually takes a few pairs before I find one that I love. And I freaking love these jeans! They are so so so soft and stretchy and just fit like a glove. The are not crack-showing low so they hide my extra pudge perfectly.  They're more like leggings than structured jeans and are super comfortable. They're a bit too long so I might get them altered but I kind of like the cuffed look so maybe I'll just keep them the way they are. 

In this next picture, I've left the shirt and necklace on but added the jean jacket (Mavi Kalie Denim Jacket) and maxi skirt (Renee C Gabe Striped Maxi Skirt) also from this fix. I can't believe denim jackets are in style again but I love the look of them with a maxi skirt or dress. And I just can't say no to a cute maxi skirt. 



Originally I was planning on sending back the shirt and the necklace but it was cheaper to keep all 5 items and take the 25% discount so that's what I did! It really took some convincing.....or not.

Stitch Fix is definitely experiencing some growing pains right now. I immediately signed up for another fix and the earliest I could get it was the middle of June.  But I don't need one every month so quarterly is perfect for me. 

Hope you guys are having a great weekend!! 

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By Jen | 5:01 PM
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He's Smooth....Just Like His Father

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you know about my son and his love of showing off for girls. He always acts incredibly shy around girls his own age but then starts trying to impress them. In his mind, doing karate kicks then falling on the ground is what girls look for. He does this everywhere. Grocery store, parks, school.

Last week at the park he told me “I’m going to pretend to be shy because girls like that”. Uh oh….


One of his favorite girls is our neighbor Lucy. She’s a year younger and cute as can be. Sullivan refuses to talk to her even though she constantly tries to talk to him. He just hides behind my legs before showing her how many bad guys he can beat up. We saw Lucy and her mom and dad at a park this past weekend and in the midst of Sully’s little show, he managed to fall to the ground and face plant on the wheel of Lucy’s stroller. Crying ensued and he’s got a nice bump and some bruising. It was very smooth but probably won’t impress her much. Better luck next time, kiddo.


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By Jen | 1:52 PM
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Response to Amy Glass

Today I accidentally found an article by some chick named Amy Glass. It was a link through a link kind of deal. It's titled "I look down on young women with husbands and children". Here it is if you're interested. Essentially it's her belief that having kids or getting married are not quite the milestones they appear to be because "literally anyone can do them" and are "common" and "average". And people are livid. I'm not so much angry but just confused why she has to be such a snotty bitch about it. If they're not your thing, I could care less. But why try to degrade other women just because they chose a different path than yours? Do you feel superior? You should feel like a pretentious jackass.

First, it's not the act of marriage that is above average. It's keeping that marriage happy and together. That, my friend, is work whether you believe it or not. Have you peeked your little feminist head out the door and seen the divorce rate?

Second, if you don't think raising a child is work then you are more ignorant that I ever thought anyone could be. Raising a child is hard. Raising a child to be a thoughtful, intelligent, and kind human being is just like climbing Mount Everest. Lots of hard work and then, when you finally get there, you can look back at just how far you've come. Yes it's been work but the rewards are beyond measure. Yes reproduction in it's most basic form is average but being a parent is something completely different.

On top of it aren't able to have children, no matter how much they want them. So perhaps it's not as easy and average as you claim.

And by "path of least resistance" I know you cannot mean raising a toddler because some days I'd rather argue with my supervisor and CEO of the hospital than argue with my three year old. At least they see reason some of the time. Arguing with a three year old is using reason against someone who is completely unreasonable.

As far as your "being exceptional without kids", I'm pretty sure women with kids have landed promotions or have attained their dream job. Pretty sure that's not limited to the single people. It is the result of hard work and the existence of a "dream job". Being a judgemental mediocre writer does not make you exceptional. I sure as hell hope you've achieved your dream job or at least left the continental United States to have such lofty expectations.

And now for my favorite part :

"I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments. Men don’t care to “manage a household.” They aren’t conditioned to think stupid things like that are “important.”

I just....well I'm just not sure where to start with this complete pile of bullshit. First I'd better put some waders on because she is really pulling this out of her ass.

Just how many women complain to you "all the time". Is it two? Maybe three? And what's "all the time"? Maybe a quick comment about how tired they are?  Or how laundry really piles up when you really have kids? Take laundry for yourself and quadruple it. That's laundry for you plus one kid. Then add in another adult and tell me laundry doesn't pile up. You're swimming in it.

Does this chick think she's in a Mad Men episode? "Men don't care to manage a household"? Granted I'm just speaking from my own "average" existence but my husband is very involved in our household. He knows my work schedule and when bills are paid and what's going on with Sullivan in daycare. That's called being an involved husband and father and trust me, it is not something that all parents do. Just like all single women don't go backpacking alone in Asia, not all married people with kids are good parents or spouses. Life is what you put in to it.

Could I go backpacking alone in Asia? Sure. But I really don't want to. Would that make me a better person in your eyes?  Completing this amazing act of independence and yelling to the world that I'm a confident woman?? Would I love to travel more? Definitely. But it's not just my kid that's holding me back. It's work and school and the pressing need to work for a living to pay my mortgage so that I can continue living fairly comfortably. But I'm ok with that. In fact, I'm pretty damn happy with that. Sure I haven't traveled the world but (I'm about to say something that will make you roll your eyes) my little family is my world. You may shout "I'm right!" or roll your eyes in pity or disgust but thankfully I don't give a shit what you think about my life. My life isn't perfect, no life ever is, but it's mine. My son is the most amazing thing to ever happen and makes me so thankful that I'm his mama. My husband's love and support is a gift and one for which I am constantly grateful.

I'm not going to scream (like others have) that you're a vile person or that you should be silenced. I respect your right to have your opinion, however moronic it is. I don't agree with you, I'm pretty sure we'd never be friends. I just ask that maybe you stop trying to be so judgemental. Stop looking down on others as if their life choices are beneath you. Start celebrating life in general, even if it is "average". And for shit's sake, try to be happy, because you really do sound like an angry bitch. The end.

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By Jen | 7:33 PM
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Blackened Chicken with Quinoa and Cilantro-Lime-Avocado Cream Sauce


Holy deliciousness, this is amazing!! Such a light and healthy meal but definitely full of flavor. The pictures, however, do not do it justice. I had to scramble to get my iPhone before it was all inhaled. There was no time for the DSLR. 


For the chicken:
1 lb chicken tenders
1 tsp paprika 
½ tsp onion powder
½ tsp cumin
½ tsp salt
½ tsp pepper

Season both sides of the chicken. Toss them in a frying pan with a bit of melted butter/olive oil/coconut oil and cook until done (about 7-10 minutes). Remove from heat.

While the chicken is going, start the quinoa. 

1 c dry quinoa
2 c chicken stock/chicken broth/water (I prefer the stock but water will work great)



In a sauce pan, heat chicken stock and quinoa to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove lid and give it a stir to make sure all the liquid is absorbed.

Time for the sauce!

2-8oz containers of plain Greek yogurt
1 tbsp lime juice
3-4 tbsp premade guacamole (you can also use chopped avocados)
A handful of cilantro

Mix all of the ingredients in the food processor until good and creamy. 



Serve the chicken on a bed of quinoa and top with the sauce. 



This meal came together pretty quick for a weeknight meal and it's easy to adjust the proportions for more people. 

Hope you guys enjoy! Happy Wednesday!

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By Jen | 8:56 PM
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Sullivan v Meatball

In the latest issue of "I Have a Threenager" we see the situation of Sullivan v Meatball. Now keep in mind, that just a few short weeks ago, these meatballs were a scrumptious meal enjoyed by this threenager. He raved, he loved, he devoured. 

Fast forward to last night and we see the little man suddenly NOT LIKE the meatball. Same type of meatballs, same delivery method, but met with scorn and stubbornness. 

He ate the rest of his meal and requested more but alas, the parentals refused until he ate one lone meatball. One. Meatball. The standoff ensued. For one hour, we were deadlocked. No one budged. 


















































And then, dear friends, he did the unthinkable. He ASKED FOR MORE. And then Mommy asked fore more wine. 

The end. 


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