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By Jen 1 comments

Response to Amy Glass

Today I accidentally found an article by some chick named Amy Glass. It was a link through a link kind of deal. It's titled "I look down on young women with husbands and children". Here it is if you're interested. Essentially it's her belief that having kids or getting married are not quite the milestones they appear to be because "literally anyone can do them" and are "common" and "average". And people are livid. I'm not so much angry but just confused why she has to be such a snotty bitch about it. If they're not your thing, I could care less. But why try to degrade other women just because they chose a different path than yours? Do you feel superior? You should feel like a pretentious jackass.

First, it's not the act of marriage that is above average. It's keeping that marriage happy and together. That, my friend, is work whether you believe it or not. Have you peeked your little feminist head out the door and seen the divorce rate?

Second, if you don't think raising a child is work then you are more ignorant that I ever thought anyone could be. Raising a child is hard. Raising a child to be a thoughtful, intelligent, and kind human being is just like climbing Mount Everest. Lots of hard work and then, when you finally get there, you can look back at just how far you've come. Yes it's been work but the rewards are beyond measure. Yes reproduction in it's most basic form is average but being a parent is something completely different.

On top of it aren't able to have children, no matter how much they want them. So perhaps it's not as easy and average as you claim.

And by "path of least resistance" I know you cannot mean raising a toddler because some days I'd rather argue with my supervisor and CEO of the hospital than argue with my three year old. At least they see reason some of the time. Arguing with a three year old is using reason against someone who is completely unreasonable.

As far as your "being exceptional without kids", I'm pretty sure women with kids have landed promotions or have attained their dream job. Pretty sure that's not limited to the single people. It is the result of hard work and the existence of a "dream job". Being a judgemental mediocre writer does not make you exceptional. I sure as hell hope you've achieved your dream job or at least left the continental United States to have such lofty expectations.

And now for my favorite part :

"I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments. Men don’t care to “manage a household.” They aren’t conditioned to think stupid things like that are “important.”

I just....well I'm just not sure where to start with this complete pile of bullshit. First I'd better put some waders on because she is really pulling this out of her ass.

Just how many women complain to you "all the time". Is it two? Maybe three? And what's "all the time"? Maybe a quick comment about how tired they are?  Or how laundry really piles up when you really have kids? Take laundry for yourself and quadruple it. That's laundry for you plus one kid. Then add in another adult and tell me laundry doesn't pile up. You're swimming in it.

Does this chick think she's in a Mad Men episode? "Men don't care to manage a household"? Granted I'm just speaking from my own "average" existence but my husband is very involved in our household. He knows my work schedule and when bills are paid and what's going on with Sullivan in daycare. That's called being an involved husband and father and trust me, it is not something that all parents do. Just like all single women don't go backpacking alone in Asia, not all married people with kids are good parents or spouses. Life is what you put in to it.

Could I go backpacking alone in Asia? Sure. But I really don't want to. Would that make me a better person in your eyes?  Completing this amazing act of independence and yelling to the world that I'm a confident woman?? Would I love to travel more? Definitely. But it's not just my kid that's holding me back. It's work and school and the pressing need to work for a living to pay my mortgage so that I can continue living fairly comfortably. But I'm ok with that. In fact, I'm pretty damn happy with that. Sure I haven't traveled the world but (I'm about to say something that will make you roll your eyes) my little family is my world. You may shout "I'm right!" or roll your eyes in pity or disgust but thankfully I don't give a shit what you think about my life. My life isn't perfect, no life ever is, but it's mine. My son is the most amazing thing to ever happen and makes me so thankful that I'm his mama. My husband's love and support is a gift and one for which I am constantly grateful.

I'm not going to scream (like others have) that you're a vile person or that you should be silenced. I respect your right to have your opinion, however moronic it is. I don't agree with you, I'm pretty sure we'd never be friends. I just ask that maybe you stop trying to be so judgemental. Stop looking down on others as if their life choices are beneath you. Start celebrating life in general, even if it is "average". And for shit's sake, try to be happy, because you really do sound like an angry bitch. The end.

1 comment:

  1. L.O.L. so much. Preach it, Jen. What a crazy person! And, can we just talk for a minute about how she prides herself on being an independent, successful feminist yet she feels the need to compare her accomplishments to how a man would handle them? Bravo, Amy - we all officially feel really bad for your sad life.